The Lady Beard

No, Gmail. I think you’re wrong. This is a legitimate job offer. I’ll take it!

Dear Groupon,

Let me start out by saying that I appreciate everything you’ve done for me over the past few years. All the times that I’ve saved a lot of money by paying half what I would normally for something, which in all honesty, is probably the actual price of the product or service.

But lately, you’ve been making me sad.

Yes, I do want to go on a Caribbean vacation for two, but what would be my other half? Yes, I do want to ride down the Ocoee with another person, but would they accept a kayak for one? Yes, I do want ride on a horse in the middle of a field and hold hands with another person on our respective horses, but what if there isn’t another person to hold hands with?

I want to do things, Groupon, but I have to do them in a group of one.

Therefore, I’m unsubscribing from you, Groupon. I’ve decided that having a hole in my bank account is better than having a hole in my heart. I wish you well, and I hope your company doesn’t fold (just in case I actually do fall in love one day).

Kind regards,

Jennifer

#groupon #loneliness

Photos

My co-worker is getting married, so I put her head on a couple of dresses for options.

Which one is the best?

Photo

The Dude aBidens

#joe biden #big lebowski #the dude abides

Photo 2
Notes

Sometimes I drink alone in my apartment on a Saturday night and send emails to customer service departments.

#oops #fix my boot please

Chat 8
Notes Ways and Means (3.3)

Toby:	Mr. President, we’re here to recommend that you threaten to veto any repeal of the estate tax.
Bartlet:	Really?
Toby:	Yes, sir.
Leo:	What happened with Richardson?
Josh:	No guarantees. He wants to see what we’re gonna do next.
Toby:	Let's make the threat.
Bartlet:	You like this?
Doug:	Yes, sir.
Bartlet:	I thought you don't oppose a tax cut in an election year?
Doug:	Well, let’s be clear. We’re not talking about opposing a tax cut. We’re talking about vetoing one. Your first veto ever. That's shooting the moon.
Bartlet:	I’ll say.
Doug:	I like the bold gesture. I think you gotta get out the stamp.
Josh:	You sign it. You don't do it with a stamp.
Doug:	I thought it was a stamp.
Bartlet:	Actually, you stamp it, then sign it.
Toby:	Who gives a damn, sir? This is a tax cut that benefits only 4500 families.
Bartlet:	It doesn't matter if most voters don't benefit. They all believe that someday they will. That's the problem with the American dream: it makes everyone concerned for the day they're gonna be rich.